This is something we had to write for my leadership class today. It was a good exercise in self-reflection. I think it says something about me and gives you some insight into who I am. Pick maybe two or three of the questions that grabbed you and answer them in the comments.
What do you stand for? Why?
I stand for the presence of God in the world, his justice, mercy, grace and love.
This encompasses all that I hope to be and contribute to the world. I want to stand for God’s justice and reveal and respond to the injustice, oppression and inequality in the world. I take seriously the words Jesus taught us to pray, “your kingdom come, your will be done”. I want to stand for mercy and compassion, reflecting to the world the mercy and compassion I have been shown by God.
What do you believe in? Why?
I believe that God exists and that God is good. I believe that Jesus embodies truth, is our example for righteous living and is the way into relationship with God. I believe the gospel is about more than salvation.
I choose to believe in God and I could not put my trust and hope in a God who was not good. Jesus is described as the rock upon which our house is built and calls himself the truth. Truth is no longer abstract in Jesus. It is now embodied in a person and our relationship with him. The gospel is often reduced to a formula for salvation. I believe it is also a call to a lifestyle. Jesus’ words are often challenging and piercing, “Go sell all you have, then follow me”.
What are you discontent about? Why?
I am discontent about the state of the church in the west, especially America. I see ways that the church has capitulated to the culture and allowed the culture to dictate and determine the way we practice our faith. In my ministry I have experienced this in the way churches deal with conflict and finances.
What brings you suffering? Why?
Broken relationships. The suffering I have experienced in life this far has been because of relationships I put my trust in that failed me in some way. My parents got divorced, something I assumed never would happen for most of my life. People in churches I’ve worked in did and said hurtful things that I didn’t understand.
What makes you weep and wail? Why?
Injustice. I read and hear the news and my heart breaks for the world we live in. It makes me weep and wail more to see the ways the church and others look the other way. We choose to let someone else do it and the injustice and suffering continues, because we are not brave enough to get involved. It makes me weep and wail to realize that this is also true of me.
What makes you jump for joy? Why?
The people that love me. Mostly, my wife makes me jump for joy (soon my child will as well). The friends I have honestly love me and I can’t explain why. My family, though broken, is a huge blessing to me.
Playing music also makes me jump for joy. Ever since I learned to play the guitar and started writing music, it connected to something in me that is as real and as honest and authentic as I can get. Connecting to that part of me always feels good.
What are you passionate about? Why?
I am passionate about people on the margins. In conversations I tend to take the opposite argument from the majority of people, because I feel like the lack of representation marginalizes people who aren’t even present.
What keeps you awake at night? Why?
The thought that God has called me to something that is impossible. I feel like God has given me dreams for the church, but they are so far beyond me that they feel impossible. I often wonder how it will be possible for the church to continue into the future. What will it look like? How will it be possible? I long for the church to be what God created it to be. I can often point to the ways that it fails, but I am still discovering what it means to succeed.
What’s grabbed hold and won’t let go? Why?
God. When I left my last church, I had the opportunity to leave ministry for good. The world was open to me. I could do or be anything I wanted. Yet, there was something about ministry that would not leave me alone. It would be a much easier life to do something else, but this calling won’t let me go.
What do you want for your life? Why?
I want to feel like I am following God, listening to his voice and pursuing his purpose with all that I am. I’m still unsure of what this looks like from year to year, but I am continually learning more about walking in God’s ways.
I want to see people’s lives transformed by the presence of God, mine, my family’s and the community in which God places us.
What is it you really care about? Why?
I want to love and be loved. As I have grown to understand myself better and my own dysfunction I realize that this is the root of much of my sin and much of the blessing in my life. It is sin when I pursue love and relationship at the expense of others and myself. It is blessing when I understand rightly my relationship to God and others and the beauty of this inherent need.
I care most about my family, my wife and soon-to-be child, my parents, siblings and in-laws, my friends and my local church.
